Feminism Friday: Video Games

When Lego's new Lego Friends series was released, I was upset, to say the least. My sister sent me some videos about Lego Friends by feminist Media Critic, Anita Sarkeesian, that summed up exactly how I felt about the new sets.

I discovered later that Anita was working on a new project, Tropes vs Women in Video Games. As a feminist video game player myself, I was interested in keeping up with her new project. I think I might have noticed the lack of female characters when I was younger more so than I do now. In my younger years I remember wanting more female characters, always disappointed that there weren't characters I could identify with very well. Of course there were always female characters in stories, but there tended to be less of them and they were typically side characters that were there only to assist in the movement of the story. I can't deny that there are some great games with female protagonists, but the amount of games with female protagonists seems ridiculous compared to the amount of games out there lacking decent female roles altogether.

After watching Anita's first two videos, Damsel in Distress, I was appalled to see the amount of gamers verbally attacking and threatening her on YouTube, twitter, and other social networking sites. There was a video response from a young man saying that she had not even mentioned games with great female protagonists and hadn't done any decent research, and many other videos basically saying the same thing. It drives me nuts to realize that people can't pay attention and realize the amount of research she has done. First of all, the only two videos she has released are only addressing the Damsel in Distress trope, she didn't say anything about female protagonists being non-existent. Second, like I said earlier, just because there are some great games with female protagonists, they're still out-numbered by the amount of games lacking female characters altogether. Third, she's a media critic, that's her job, to analyze and critique how things are working in the media. You may not always agree with a critic, but usually they're more advanced in their area and have spent a lot more time researching the things you think you have an expert opinion on.

I also have to address the amount of comments saying that "if more women played video games they would start making more video games with female characters." Seriously? Or even one comment basically stating there are more male characters because it's "almost like they wanted relatable main characters." Again, seriously? Let's address these last few comments.

According to a 2012 report by the ESA, 47% of video game players are female. ORLY NAO? So if 3% more gamers were female, we would have an even amount of male to female player ratio and we would suddenly start having more games created with leading female characters that aren't put into stereotypical sexist roles? I didn't think so either. Moving from that to "relatable main characters," if 3% puts males in the lead of video game players, technically it must be true that male characters are more relatable to male players because there is 3% more male players. I couldn't seem to find any newer studies, but according to a 2007 study, male characters were 5 times more likely to appear as a main character than a female character. Five times. That's definitely more than that 3% margin of players. Even a 2005-2006 study stated that females only made up 15% of characters in video games.

I'm tired of seeing female characters, main or side, being thrown into sexist roles where players digest this information and start to associate these things as normal behavior for how women act and look and even how others should treat women. According to this 2009 study women who played video games with overly sexualized female character had a decreased sense of self esteem after playing the game. We need better portrayals of women in video games. I'd like to see more strong female models as lead characters. I'm tired of the typical damsel in distress, half-naked fighters, and the overly large breasted sexualized lead. I want a strong female character showing that she can be just as tough as any male and that she doesn't need someone else to take care of her.

Feminism Friday: Why I'm a Feminist

I'm hoping to get myself more motivated to blog so I thought I'd start "Feminism Friday" posts. I can't guarantee any solid commitments to every Friday, though. I thought I'd start my first post off with why I'm a feminist.

Let me start by addressing what feminism is. Red Letter Press does a good job of explaining the basics here. For those of you who chose not to read it, I'll sum it up pretty quickly,

"British suffragist and journalist Rebecca West famously said, 'Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.' In other words, feminism is a commitment to achieving the equality of the sexes. This radical notion is not exclusive to women: men, while benefiting from being the dominant sex, also have a stake in overcoming the restrictive roles that deprive them of full humanity."

"As with every social movement, feminism encompasses a variety of political tendencies. There are three main types of feminism: socialist, reformist, and radical/separatist."

That last part is where I get the most frustrated with people about. When most people hear "feminism" they associate it with radical feminists. "Radical feminists target male psychology or biology as the source of women's oppression. The most extreme form of radical feminism is separatism, which advocates a total break with men." 

When I talk about feminism, it's the complete equality between women and men and the elimination of pre-defined gender roles.

Now back to why I'm a feminist. I feel like a lot of my ideas of feminism came from my mother, although she would probably never claim to be a feminist. My mother was an only child until the age of 16. She was raised in a time where it was still important to have children helping around the house. And while she was the only child, she was raised to be both the daughter and the son of the family. My grandmother taught her about cooking, sewing, and cleaning while my grandfather taught her about taking care of cars, fixing appliances, and being independent. Outside of stereotypical Latter Day Saint culture, especially for that time, my mother went to school and received a master's for elementary education. She even taught for several years, living by herself, in New Mexico. My mother didn't marry my father until she was 34, which was definitely out of the norm for most LDS women, and still is.

I don't recall my mother really controlling how my gender roles were defined growing up. I don't really remember my father teaching me a whole lot growing up (No offense Dad! I love you! :P). My mother was always the one who taught me about cleaning, cooking, fixing the car, taking care of personal finances, etc. My mother's still the one who's usually in charge of all of these things in the household. I don't remember my mother, or father, ever telling me I couldn't do something or was supposed to do something because I was a girl, other than wearing a dress to church and how to appropriately sit in a chair with a dress/skirt. Growing up, I wore dresses, skirts, shorts, overalls, sweats, and jeans. I played with barbies, baby dolls, stuffed animals, dinosaurs, army men, Legos, and played video games. I played hop scotch, dress up, climbed trees,  played in mud, and played with bugs and worms. 

I grew up being able define myself and I've always felt that everyone should be raised with the same opportunities to define their own roles. It should be acceptable for women to provide for themselves and not have to rely on a man, boys should be able to play with barbie dolls and not be called a pansy. I'm so tired of stereotypes and someone else telling me what's acceptable and what's not for a girl or a boy. 

I believe everyone deserves freedom from stereotypical gender roles.

The Road

2005       -      2013

I was reading over an old blog post on a friend's blog yesterday and started thinking about how life events affect us and how we and our personalities change over time depending on what happened and how we reacted to it.

During college I visited some old friends from high school that I hadn't seen in a long time. The visit was kind of awkward and I didn't feel very welcome there. I left feeling disappointed that our friendships weren't as great as they once were. A few weeks later while talking to another very close friend from high school, I was informed that those friends said I had changed. I'm ok with change, change is normal, but it wasn't just that, it was the way they meant it, like it was a bad thing. As if I had become some horrific person that they could no longer associate with, or at least that's how I felt. I immediately became defensive and started to argue about how people change and how they were the ones who were still the same, they hadn't grown.

Although, I can't speak for my friends and what had really changed or not for them, I still stick to my thoughts that people change. I can definitely say I am not the same person I was in high school. I get frustrated when I see people claim that people can't change. I'm sorry, but they do. We change our outlook on life and even how we think things through based on our own personal experiences. People who were once alcoholics or drug abusers can change their life if they're willing. And people who were once wonderful "saints" can become abusive and angry. I'm thankful for the experiences I have gone through in college, bad situations or good ones. I've grown from what I've learned and experienced and I am more accepting of others' opinions and I'm more willing to reconsider how I already think.

I've been trying to think of a good analogy to use for how we change, and I think the best I've come up with is a road. We all start at the same place, fresh and new. We drive until we get to a fork in the road. This fork may have two, three, or more options to choose for road. One road is smooth so we still have nothing to worry, and we still think everything is normal like it was before. Another road has pot holes and can do a lot of damage to your car. You can choose to remain confident about the situation and fix your car and keep going, remaining cautious, or you can become bitter and angry. Down the road from the potholes is another fork and you start to assume every one of these roads is going to have potholes. Maybe one does, and you stay angry, but maybe one is smooth and has beautiful scenery and you begin to rethink how you felt about the road. Amongst the forks in the road is a dead end but you don't realize it until you're at the end of the road. With careful consideration, it is possible to turn around and head back, you don't have to be stuck there, although you could choose that, too. There's so many options and outcomes to consider in this scenario that I'd never be able to tell them all. But these roads are our own experiences, and how we react to them can affect how we view everything and how we behave in the future.

New Dreams

After much research and serious thought about the art store I so desperately wanted, I finally realized it wasn't what I really wanted, so I stopped. I just stopped working on everything related to the business. There was just so much I had already done so I partially feel I've wasted time that could have been spent elsewhere, but I think it helped me analyze my situation better and recognize what I really wanted to do. I really miss art, my own art, and school. I'm looking more into graduate school so that I can teach.

I've been struggling with graduate schools for photography. Tuition is expensive, living costs are expensive, and even if I managed to get an assistantship my first year, it probably wouldn't cover the cost of everything I need to pay for. I really debated UNM in Albuquerque, NM, but making up 15 hours of Art History courses  would be ridiculous just to go to graduate school. I'd considered OU in Norman, OK for a while, but for some reason I didn't feel impressed.

Of all places though, I'm drawn to University of Arkansas in Fayetteville, AR. There doesn't seem to be anything spectacular about the program (other than in-state tuition seems more achievable) but I feel like I fit there. I didn't really meet any faculty other than the chair or even any students, but I still feel like that's probably where I should be.

As much as I hate the idea of moving and the costs associated, I'm looking for jobs more closely related to what I want to do in Arkansas. Hopefully, I'll find find at least a decent job, move to Arkansas, apply and be accepted to the graduate program at U of A and then be able to move to Fayetteville and get in-state tuition. I've found some prospective jobs already, but I just need to do some updates to my portfolio, website, and resume first. Crossing my fingers already that everything works out!

Moving Forward

I know I'm not working on my business plan as much as I should be, seeing as how I want this more and more every day. Today I've added quite a bit. I'm starting to get into weird jargon that I barely understand and I'm having a hard time deciphering it all so that I can actually type a decent response for my plan.

There are five areas of the plan, and it's nice to say I'm almost completely done with the first two. The rest is going to be a bit more complicated... :/

I need to set myself a deadline for this plan so that I can start working on the rest of the paperwork for my business. I have quite a bit that needs to be put together. This is beginning to look like a rather daunting goal...

I've found out a bit more about the schools that are offering online degrees. They both sound pretty great, just expensive seeing as they're both private schools. At the same time, they're just as expensive as a public school that I would have to pay out-of-state tuition for. I don't plan on working on graduate school for at least another year, but I'd still like to have some plans laid out for it.

My Harley Quinn costume is also sort of coming along. I don't have the actual clothing articles ready, but I've ordered just about all of my accessories. I'm still missing some items for her hammer, contacts, socks, and some other little makeup items. I'll also have to color the wig and probably make some adjustments to the wig once it arrives. I'm getting pretty excited.

I'm also impressed with myself for working out. Although, I haven't been working out as much as I planned, it's still something and I'm starting to see improvements. I've tried my best to cut out unhealthy foods and snacking. I thought about buying a gym membership, but decided against it and have been doing my own calisthenics workouts in my own apartment. They've been pretty great, even if I don't always have the motivation to do them. lol. So far I've lost probably an average of a quarter of an inch on most of my main body measurements and I'm about 114 pounds. I'd rather not be too skinny, but it's kind of nice to see something below 115 since I haven't been below 115 since 2007. If I can lost the fat, I'll start eating more and pumping up my workout to gain the muscle I need for the weight. Overall, I'm pretty excited about my goals right now. :)

Motivated

For my Spring Break- yes, I still get one as a full time employee- I'm going with my dad to Kentucky to a comic book and toy convention and to visit family. It's a pretty big con so I'm excited about cosplaying at the convention. I'm pretty dead set on going as the New 52 Harley Quinn. It's gonna be a lot of work and money, but I think it will be worth it in the end. I'm so excited though!

And since I want to do this cosplay so bad, I'm trying to work out every day that I can to get into shape by the time the con rolls around. So far, I've done great with my core strengthening exercises, but I have trouble with actually doing my cardio for the day.

I also recently found a couple of schools that are offering completely online degrees for Photography. Although they are more expensive, it would still cut out the weird transition and costs of moving just to go to graduate school. Also, if things work out with the art store, then it would be even more difficult for me to relocate just to attend school. Although I haven't actually applied or been accepted, it's still pretty awesome to know that my options are opening up.

Now if I can just get my business plan finished. :P

Dinosaur Bones

That's what I feel I'm digging up by posting here again. Thought it would be nice to give some actual updates since I don't really post status updates on facebook anymore.

I'm working full time as a secretary for NSU's Communication, Art, & Theatre department. I was lucky to get the job only two months after graduating, but it's definitely not something I want to be doing forever. It has great benefits and I love the faculty I work with, but most of the time this job is overwhelming and I get frustrated with everything I have to do in such a short amount of time.

I'm still working on opening my own art store though. I've heard rumors of someone else opening one, but have seen nothing yet. I'd love to be able to open for next fall. I keep dreaming about it, but I'm finding it hard to be motivated enough to finish the business plan. I think I'm just going to have to set some serious goals about working on this if I want it done. Hopefully, if I post it somewhere where I see it everyday, I'll actually work on it.

At the same time, I'm still debating graduate school. I would love to have a Master's for Photography, but finding the right school and getting the funding are my concerns. If I could take some online courses while working with my store, that would be amazing. I doubt that I could find something that awesome, though.

I guess I'll see what the future brings.