The Road

2005       -      2013

I was reading over an old blog post on a friend's blog yesterday and started thinking about how life events affect us and how we and our personalities change over time depending on what happened and how we reacted to it.

During college I visited some old friends from high school that I hadn't seen in a long time. The visit was kind of awkward and I didn't feel very welcome there. I left feeling disappointed that our friendships weren't as great as they once were. A few weeks later while talking to another very close friend from high school, I was informed that those friends said I had changed. I'm ok with change, change is normal, but it wasn't just that, it was the way they meant it, like it was a bad thing. As if I had become some horrific person that they could no longer associate with, or at least that's how I felt. I immediately became defensive and started to argue about how people change and how they were the ones who were still the same, they hadn't grown.

Although, I can't speak for my friends and what had really changed or not for them, I still stick to my thoughts that people change. I can definitely say I am not the same person I was in high school. I get frustrated when I see people claim that people can't change. I'm sorry, but they do. We change our outlook on life and even how we think things through based on our own personal experiences. People who were once alcoholics or drug abusers can change their life if they're willing. And people who were once wonderful "saints" can become abusive and angry. I'm thankful for the experiences I have gone through in college, bad situations or good ones. I've grown from what I've learned and experienced and I am more accepting of others' opinions and I'm more willing to reconsider how I already think.

I've been trying to think of a good analogy to use for how we change, and I think the best I've come up with is a road. We all start at the same place, fresh and new. We drive until we get to a fork in the road. This fork may have two, three, or more options to choose for road. One road is smooth so we still have nothing to worry, and we still think everything is normal like it was before. Another road has pot holes and can do a lot of damage to your car. You can choose to remain confident about the situation and fix your car and keep going, remaining cautious, or you can become bitter and angry. Down the road from the potholes is another fork and you start to assume every one of these roads is going to have potholes. Maybe one does, and you stay angry, but maybe one is smooth and has beautiful scenery and you begin to rethink how you felt about the road. Amongst the forks in the road is a dead end but you don't realize it until you're at the end of the road. With careful consideration, it is possible to turn around and head back, you don't have to be stuck there, although you could choose that, too. There's so many options and outcomes to consider in this scenario that I'd never be able to tell them all. But these roads are our own experiences, and how we react to them can affect how we view everything and how we behave in the future.