What's Your Niche?

So I've been out of school for a year and a half and still haven't found the job I was hoping for. The thing is, I'm really not sure where I should be heading. I really don't know what I want anymore. I've had so many things pop up in my head, but I'm not sure what really sounds right.

I wanted to open an art store for a while, I even started doing research and was fairly well underway with what I needed to be prepared for, and then I decided that wasn't really what I wanted. Lately, I've been pretty focused on wanting to go back to school for my master's so that I can teach photography, but I'm starting to wonder if that's what I really want. Back when I was in school, I really wanted to be a fashion photographer, and I still would like that, but I have nothing in my portfolio to show for it. I even wanted to work as a graphic designer so I wouldn't be so stressed and lose interest in my photography, but my skills in graphic design seem to be lacking. Growing up I really wanted to write, and I still do. Not that I necessarily want to write a novel, but I definitely enjoy blogging.

My problem is I'm not really passionate about any single thing. I won't say I'm terrible at the things I love, but when I think of successful people, I think of people who dedicate all their energy to one thing they're passionate about. I enjoy so many things- photography, drawing, video games, fashion, graphic design, writing, feminism- that it's hard for me to dedicate all my energy into one thing. I feel that to run a successful blog, you need to limit your subject matter to one or two things, but even that's hard for me to choose. I'm afraid if I dedicate myself to one thing, I'll lose my passion for another. I wonder if other people out there feel the same way I do.

I guess I'll keep blogging about whatever until I figure out my niche.

Cold Hearts & RAWartists Art Show

Sunglasses: Claire's

Necklace: Rue21

Purse: Stage

Top: American Eagle

Capris: Walmart

Sandals: Walmart

This top was a gift from my boyfriend's grandma and mom, they buy me such awesome things! And I really love it! It's just so comfy and cute. Actually, the bag was a gift from his grandma as well and my pants were a Christmas gift from my mom. :)

So I have my first real gallery showing coming up! I'm so excited, but stressed out at the same time. There's so much I need to get done. *sigh* I was invited to do a show with RAWartists Tulsa's show, Transitions, on Friday, September 27 from 8 p.m. to midnight at the Vanguard. I would love your support and would love to see you there! Please come and show your support for other local artists as well!

You can find the facebook event here for some information: https://www.facebook.com/events/523200081081707/
Or you can visit my RAWartists profile directly: http://www.rawartists.org/leneapatterson

Please tell all your friends and I hope to see you there! :D

You want to know why I support welfare?

I guess I’m just tired of all the stupid people this last week so I have a lot of negative things to say lately.

I’m so tired of generalizations about welfare. I hate when people assume people on welfare are lazy, don’t have jobs, and are just looking for free handouts.

How about we give you two jobs, both paying minimum wage -if you’re lucky you’ll get 40 hours total for the week- both part time, so you’re not getting insurance or any other benefits from either job. This means no paid personal leave, no vacation, no insurance, nothing, just minimum wage pay. Then we give you a child that you actually decided to keep and properly take care of like a “real” parent. Now, don’t forget, you have at least rent or mortgage to pay with utilities, so that you’re not living out on the streets or in a homeless shelter with your child - Remember, you wouldn’t have been able to get your jobs in the first place if you didn’t have a proper residence to put down on those job applications. Now, you’ll need a car to get to your jobs, because you live in an area that doesn’t have public transit (even if you did, public transit costs money), so you’ll probably be making car payments and you better be sure to pay those car insurance payments. Don’t forget, you’ll need a phone so that you can be sure to get calls from family and calls from work when they need you to cover someone’s shift last minute. Working two jobs has probably left you in a bit of a crunch time-wise with your child, and there’s a chance you don’t have family close enough to watch your child while you’re at work, so you’re probably paying for daycare or a babysitter. And oh ya, don’t forget the most important thing, groceries.

-Remember, we didn’t include luxury items that we take for granted like television or internet-

Now, the cost of all of these things will vary depending on the area of the country you live in, but there’s a good chance you’re barely skating by. You probably don’t have much in a savings account for emergencies like a doctors visit or a flat tire. And you don’t have any rich relatives who are willing to just hand over money to you, even in emergencies - they don’t believe in free handouts, you have to earn it.

After all of this, I think you would be asking for help from the government, too.

Welfare offers some great benefits like basic healthcare, some money for groceries, and sometimes even some money for utilities.

There’s a million different scenarios for those on welfare, like those who are disabled and can’t work, and yes there are some people who do take advantage of benefits because they really are lazy. But seriously guys, please stop making generalizations that everyone on welfare is lazy and “just needs to get a job like the rest of us.” There’s a large chance that they do have a job. Or two. Or even three.

I have a lot of other side notes I could make about my own post here, but this post would just be never-ending.

Quick Update

So I feel like nothing note-worthy is really happening in my life so I haven't really updated, let alone it's taking forever for me to go through and edit all my photos from my Seattle trip.

The biggest excitement is that my sister just accepted a job offer here at NSU! She'll be working as a graphic designer in the Communications & Marketing department. I'm so excited to be able to see her more often. :) She's my absolute best friend and I really am super happy to have her here.

I've been wanting to snap some pics of my outfits to post, but I hate trying to find somewhere by myself to set up a tripod and take photos. Hopefully, I can get her to go out on a couple of adventures with me so I can get some photos to post. :)

My first day of class was Monday. It's kind of weird being back in class. It was quite amusing when my professor asked me after class, "Didn't you graduate?" "Yes, I did." I know quite a few people in my class which is nice, but no one I'm exactly best friends with. At least I know who to connect with for notes and studying. It should be a good year.

Someone I follow on tumblr is obsessed with Bioshock so half of my feed is just screen caps from the games. Btw, you can follow me on tumblr at lemonslimetree I decided I'd finally give in and buy the game - ok, so my boyfriend bought it for me, isn't he a sweetheart?  I finally got around to playing it last night. Holy crap, I had no idea how ridiculously creepy this game actually is. Honestly, I've never played a true fps by myself. I mostly play RP's and turn-based games. I actually shrieked last night when a splicer jumped out at me. I'm not sure yet if I'll be able to actually make it through the rest of this game without becoming completely paranoid.

Try and tell me this isn't creepy coming out of nowhere and attacking you.

That's really about it going on for me. I'm still looking at possibilities for jobs more closely related to my field. Not much luck so far, so I'm still crossing my fingers that something good will show up for me. Send some good vibes my way!

Seattle Day 1

To start off our trip, our 6:15 a.m. flight was delayed two hours. Got to sit around and attempt to sleep for two hours in the freezing cold Tulsa airport.

When we got there, we went to the hotel we were staying at, the Moore Hotel. We dropped off our stuff and got settled a little bit before meeting up with everyone for dinner. We went to this Sicilian restaurant with amazing food. Unfortunately, we had so many problems trying to get the check straightened out since they put all 12 of us on a single ticket and automatically added gratuity on it. The owner didn't seem to understand at all that we wanted to pay separately or didn't know how to separate the check so we all just ended up paying the exact amount and leaving. lol. Despite some frustrations, the food was actually amazing.

I ordered a veal pasta with a tri-color sauce.

The restaurant was really pretty outside and had this pretty and homey feeling inside.

We spent the rest of the evening down by the boardwalk.

This cool guy rode up on his bike in the middle of the dock and started doing Tai Chi. Super cool.

And then made our way up to this great bakeshop/ ice creamery. I didn't get a picture of my cupcake but I had a delicious lavender cupcake. I've never had anything lavender before, but omg, this thing was delicious.

Seattle Photo Tour

So I said I'd update with more about my Seattle trip. I'm not sure I really explained what it was so here you go.
The trip was a photography class where we got to visit and experience the life of Seattle. It was our job to capture the city through our camera lens'.

I've stared at my photos for far too long to edit them down to my best which I had about 150 photos that were great. Then I had to edit those down to around 30 to turn in for class. Even better yet is that I have to narrow those down to about 3 or 4 to have printed, matted, and framed. Not sure how I'm going to get through all of this. *sigh*

I was so worried before the trip because I only knew one person going, besides my instructor and his wife, and I didn't even like her because she went on my last photo tour to Chicago and was rather rude to me and others. I quickly made some great and amazing friends to spend the week with. My instructor and I commented on how the dynamics of this group were so different than the one to Chicago. While in Chicago, most of us had our own cliques and spent the majority of the trip with that group. In Seattle, we could easily contact any other person in the group who would willingly go with us somewhere and I got to spend my time with a different person/group every day.

We had some amazing and crazy adventures to say the least.

I'll go ahead and add different posts for each day and just back track the date on them later so you can see what happened each day without having to read through a monstrous post in one sitting.

Breezy Summers in Seattle

I just got back from my trip to Seattle for my photography class. I was all excited to blog from Seattle. We see how that worked out, lol. There was just so much to do there and I was absolutely exhausted coming in each night. I still have so many photos to edit! I absolutely loved it there. It was an amazing, much needed vacation.

It was interesting to wear leggings and jackets outside during summer. There's absolutely no way that would ever happen here in Oklahoma this time of year. The weather is great, although it was still a bit chilly for my taste. I was actually surprised to see that their winters on average are still warmer than ours. How odd. I think I just might move to Seattle now. I'll just work a music gig on the corner and I'll be set. lol

I'll blog a bit more another time about my photos and experiences there. It was absolutely a perfect vacation. :)

Fears

I have to admit I'm terrible at actually feeling motivated to write anything about my own life. I feel like I'm pretty boring. I found a tumblr page that would help me with some writing prompts, though, so hopefully I'll blog a little more often than I have been. Btw, if you have a tumblr, you can follow me here.

So today I wanted to talk about fears and what I'm afraid of. I'll admit I get squeamish and honestly, a lot of things freak me out, but I wouldn't quite say I have a fear of them. I feel like my list has gotten bigger since I've "grown up", or maybe I've just finally admitted that I'm afraid.


1.) I'm afraid of being alone. Not really left alone at home or anything, but the idea of not having anyone who cares about me. No family, no romantic partner, no friends. It scares me to not have anyone to confide in. I feel like I'd probably go into depression. And to be honest, I'm not sure what I'd have left to live for if I didn't have anyone left.

2.) The dark. This is such a generic thing, but I'm honestly afraid of the unknown that exists in the dark. Anything or anyone could be lurking around the corner, ready to jump out and skin me alive. I don't really have great balance either with my eyes closed or when I'm in the dark so I'd probably kill myself first by tripping over a stick. lol

3.) Open heights. I guess because I'm so short, 5'2", that I hate being up high. In eighth grade when I was a cheerleader, I was a flyer. How funny, because I really hated thinking about how high up I was. Buildings and airplanes don't really bother me, but tall trees (I also love to climb these), deep caves, ladders, and buildings like the Sears Tower, below, scare the crap out of me. I literally could only stand up on this glass area for a few seconds before my knees buckled and I just had to lower myself to sit.

And last but not least...

4.) Spiders. I've always hated spiders but only recently have I truly realized my fear of them. How they feel when they crawl across you... Even watching them creepily scurry across the floor or wall. And their creepy fangs just pulsing, ready to eat your face. Their itchy and potentially deadly bites. Ugh. They just creep me out. Even worse is that I hate to kill spiders or insects because I hate that crunchy feeling and sound that happens when you attempt to squash them. *shudder*

So what's something that you're afraid of?

Independence Day 2013

So I had a great Independence Day spent with family and boyfriends setting off some fun and pretty fireworks. :)

We had dinner outside at my grandparents' house.

My grandpa took me to one of his neighbors who does some welding and made this great piece.

My lovely patriotic cookie cake! :D

And just some other fun shots from the day.

I hope everyone else had an equally awesome Independence Day! < 3

SoonerCon 22

So this past weekend was spent at SoonerCon. I had a lot of fun with my sister, but I honestly can't say I enjoyed the con itself very much. They cut back on a lot of stuff from last year. Less vendors, less artists, and everything seemed rather uncoordinated and most everything was running late. Despite a not-so-great con, my sister was able to sell some of her super cute amigurumis and some other crafted goodies at the table where my dad was selling his sci-fi books. Together, we're going to work on some more wonderful crafted goodies and hopefully sell at next year's Tokyo in Tulsa.

My sister even made me a super cute Evee just like these! If you're interested, let me know and we just might be able to work on something for you. :)

Highlights of the con:
1.) Selling crafts towards a table to sell more crafts!
2.) Hanging out with my sister
3.) Taking pictures with my sister of our cosplays
4.) Winning third place in my category for cosplay costume as Harley Quinn. :)

Check out some of our pics from the con. :D